Dispatch from Home No. 4: Longing for more & more routined life

In my first Dispatch from Home, I wrote that 'Quarantine Necessitates Routine'. So far, as I wrestled with the adjustments and inconveniences in the past months, I was able to get into a routine, which could be simplified into starting up, breakfast, doing work/or anything I got interested to do (after watching reruns of Game KNB? on Jeepney TV), lunch, continuing my work/recereation, dinner, watching Shark Tank on Techstorm and a vlog on YouTube, then folding up to rest.

Each day has been passing by quickly enough, and this makes me realize that I should really be making most of my time. One of the best way for me to do this, I concluded, is to have an early wake up. I've managed to fix my wake up from a very late 8 or 9 to a decent 7 or 7:30. But my dream wake up is 6:00. I could wake up at 6, but GETTING UP is so hard to do often.

Why 6? For one thing, my parents are rarely awake at those times. I find it great to be an early bird. But more primarily, so that I could start the day doing two things quietly, without the worry of disturbing anybody. One of them I've been doing for a long time, but I know I should be doing better at it. The other one I have just started getting accustomed to, something I haven't seriously thought of. But because of the lockdown and the virus that caused it and maybe because of boredom, I have finally embarked on it even on very little baby steps.

More serious study of Scripture

One of the reasons why I want to have an earlier wake up is to get to study Scripture more and more (and more and more [Twice, 2020]). Back when I was just starting to go to college, I've been enjoying starting the day reading the Bible and making outlines and notes out of the passages. Studying the Scripture that way has brought me closer to the riches of God's Word.

Even in my fully-packed and tiresome yet worthwhile college life, I found it a comfort and joy to dig deeper into the Word, even when I did it while riding on a bus back home.

Reality struck after college, and what I feared happened. Busyness got in the way, and even if I still manage to read the Bible and review the notes I've accumulated from my studying during vacant hours in college, I find my study losing its richness, its spark, its delight. I'm afraid it's becoming a chore rather than something I would like to do.

The quarantine has somehow helped me getting back on track, at least on reminding me that I can do better than reading the passages for the day and then reviewing my notes. I believe there's much more to learn. Maybe look for something I haven't dig into deeply. Perhaps research on portions I have questions about. Maybe do another method of study. Maybe read fitting literature to my study. Maybe revisit The Bible Project videos.

I'm also thinking of watching sermons. I've been wanting to do that. And I find the best time to do it is when I'm only the one awake and there's no task to do yet and no apparent distractions—early Sunday mornings.

Last May, esteemed defender of the faith Ravi Zacharias went home. I've been familiar with him after hearing his program on 98.7 DZFE. I find him worth listening to, just like the late R.C. Sproul and the still-alive-and-kicking John Piper. But as things get along the way, I lost the time and opportunity to catch the program or at least listen to his lectures online.

How much I've missed, I realized upon knowing this sudden passing away of Dr. Ravi.

I really hope I could make more time now to read and study Scripture, as well as read and listen and watch resources which can help me understand the Word more.

I also need to refine this weapon that I should carry on me everytime, even when I'm just at home. Temptations are still there, especially with social media and even with just thoughts and curiosities.

If we men are to be more resilient against those things that easily wage war against us, we must dig deeper into the Word. I must be more rooted in it. The Author of the Word, help me.

Warming up

I also want to get up earlier not just for a spiritual exercise, but a physical one. Before, exercise was something I wouldn't even care to do as a regular habit, being content with how I look and how healthy I think I am. 

I simply just got interested to exercise, out of the blue. Perhaps a post from one of my peers got me thinking about. The overlying motivation is health, for sure. But as I got started researching for what I can start with and eventually starting on some, I realized I've been starting to get conscious of my shape.

But I want to be firm on why I will do this. Not to get abs, although I dream of 'flattening the curve'. I just want to be more healthy and, moreover, less sedentary.

I resist to grow up into a stereotype man who gets old fat and, worse, obese. Not saying that having a round shape is bad. I denounce commercialized conceptions about body image that has led to body shaming. It's just that I know I can do better than just staying at the status quo.

If exercise will make me more healthier, more strong and capable to do work, less exhausted, more resilient to disease, and also less depressed, then I should go for exercise. I still hope to flatten what I'm afraid is becoming a ballooning belly, but I don't want to be so conscious about it. Shape should actually be seen as a byproduct of exercise, not its main result.

I really hate it how exercise, and diet too, as been perceived as the solution to have a slim waistline or six-pack abs, rather than a way of living so that you have a stronger body and hopefully a longer life. I hate it that getting an 'Instagrammable' body that netizens tend to envy becomes a motivation for many to work out, when we could have better reasons to do it and not become so conscious—nay obsessed—of our bodies, when we could simply stick into our minds that our health and productivity matters.

Isn't it enough motivation to simply improve our lives, way beyond the skin? Isn't it enough motivation that we are to be good stewards of our bodies, as said in Paul's letter to the Galatians, especially when we realize that our bodies were bought with a price and its no longer our own?

I'm afraid too that because of the sexy motivation for exercise, the self becomes glorified, but with the right lens to look at exercise, I believe we can glorify God with our bodies through exercise. With that kind of motivation, I believe, getting slim doesn't become a priority to be obsessed at. Rather, valuing our health and making ourselves less immobile becomes our ground for working out.

I got those thoughts from these resources from DesiringGod.org.

That's just like the motivation to finish college. To answer the question "Why do you want to finish your studies" with "Para magkapagtrabaho ako" ("So that I can get a job in the future") is very limited, just like getting slim is. But to say "I want to learn a lot from my course and a lot from college life", or something like that—that is a very noble reason to finish our studies, just like keeping in mind that exercising helps us in our health and capability to do work.

It's not that I'm not hoping to flatten my tummy. I've been conscious about it may times. I even sometimes wonder how Kpop artists like those in Twice, or someone like Blackpink's Rosé, stay fit while still devouring food (not very often, for sure). 

But I really want to impress in my mind that I will exercise to improve my health and my capabilities. Work is often sedentary already, sitting on a desk for hours. I'm convinced I should really get moving more and more (and more and more [Twice, again?]). I want to be healthy and active for my future.

Besides, I just want to get started and accustomed to exercise for now. Even if I hope to do a circuit or a HIIT, I don't have a wide space to do that on a daily basis. And going back to a report-to-office mode soon might disrupt my current routine.

But I hope to be serious about this. I really want to. Not to look bulky or buff, but to really be more alive.

And hopefully I could do that, plus more Scripture study, when I finally have a space of my own, which I'll share in the next dispatch.