Skip to main content

(I Want To) Flee From Bitterness

Aren't there things, pictures, or whatsoever that may bring some flashbacks, then you realize they aren't that good flashbacks? As if you have already thrown something, then it just throws back to you?

Aren't we supposed to leave our past, except its lessons, and live at the present and hope for the future? Most of us just do that. Then, why at some point what we had already deleted seemed to have a back up?

That made me this.

(I Want To) Flee From Bitterness

I came from a complex past
and I got through it—life's so fast
Pain and other else I just felt
I'm thankful I didn't melt

Hours and days stepped history
Growing—thriving—up I see
Times have gone by
but feeling a sting when it's gone—why?

When I threw the bad in the bin
why should it go back in?
If the hurtful and unfavorable was swept
then why those same things I get?

I want to flee from this bitterness
Never arrive in circumstances of sadness
Even bits of memory that corrupts the positive
I plea—delete!—also the figures of not good things

Where's the door through the way out?
I grip on You and still I'm sometimes struck
But still I find in You that better way
So that from thrown bitterness I am away

Please guide me where You want me to
I know I had pain and tasted the harsh because I have to
I know you want me to learn
and to You you want me to turn

You are good and loving
Keeping your creation from falling
Even to the extent of being crushed
Just for the spirit not to mash

And yet you don't leave us alone
Your grace and love you have shown
—and still revealing to make whole the broken
Setting free and starting again

11/7/13

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Adrian's Tracks of the Year 2025: Slow it right down

2025 was an eventful year, most of us will agree, with the shocking revelations from the investigation of flood control projects, the uneasing reality of rising costs, as well as the ever evolving media landscape. Likewise, this year was eventful personally, leaving me downcast after being clouded by exhaustion, anxiety, and uncertainty. Nonetheless, alongside God's firm hold; the reassuring and caring company of friends, colleagues, church, and family; and, perhaps, memes, it was great music that carried me through all the year's ordeals.  My Tracks of the Year for 2025 feature 100 handpicked songs that have chronicled the past twelve months for me. Out of these, I'm featuring ten songs that have made the most impact, either marking memorable moments or unfolding realizations to carry through the coming year. 1. All I Do - Stevie Wonder 2025 started very well when Trevor Nelson, after hosting a late night show on BBC Radio 2 , started presenting the afternoon show (late ev...

Adrian's Mid-Year Melodies 2025: The words, the vibes, the feels

Answering the question " Kumusta ?" ("How are you?" in Filipino) can take a lot of time. Even when one can simply say " Okay lang " ("Just fine"), there's much to expound within those two words, often to find out things haven't really been "just fine." And likely it would take more than a few minutes to explain how one has been. Yet, with work consuming much of my (and my friends') time and energy, I've realized it has not been easy anymore to tell somebody how I've really been. It remains astounding to see that we have passed midway through this year, much more that I've reached another year in life personally, now two years short of marking my third decade (and becoming an older single). Yet, it seems that whenever I've tried to reflect on these spans of time, it's hard to pinpoint where to start. Thankfully, as I've started compiling playlists to mark each year and mid-year, I can now reflect on li...

Adrian's Tracks of The Year 2024: The Year of Thinking and Rediscovering

In the adulting years, I realized, the Christmas and yearend season can get stressful and draining with the blended rush of remaining work, multiple parties, and numerous bouts of shopping and other errands (It's even hard to sneak in writing this piece). Nonetheless, what still gets me excited at this time is the chance to revisit the songs I discovered and enjoyed throughout the year, especially through Spotify Wrapped. More than the songs, I also like to reflect on the moments and thoughts soundtracked by these songs. This led me to a resolve to come up with a playlist of the songs that marked the year, which I call "My Tracks of the Year."  From my inaugural 60 or so tracks playlist last year, I've picked 100 this time. Many of these songs are new releases this year and new discoveries, yet highlights from this year also come from tracks I once heard in the past years but now have deeper meanings to me as they chronicle my musings in the past months.  It's dif...